My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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