we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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