Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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