Please, let me fuck your mom
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I stole a fireplace last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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