i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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