grandma shit on top of the toilet
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
