She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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