oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
