Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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