Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
