so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
