fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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