i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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