Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
