Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
