Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize