went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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