I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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