I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Randomize
