Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
