dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
