I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
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It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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