Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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