try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
