Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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