he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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