he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
