By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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