My nipple is on Facebook.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old