Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.

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(415): Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel. http://tfl.nu/yxi6

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.

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(610): he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen. http://tfl.nu/e13s

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option

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(403): i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option http://tfl.nu/a69i

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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(732): i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!! http://tfl.nu/t5uq

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(269): View more from Michigan

i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently

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(269): i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently http://tfl.nu/x6zf

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(812): View more from Indiana

I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.

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(812): I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way. http://tfl.nu/t9el

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.

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(303): dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0. http://tfl.nu/gdax

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(707): View more from California

the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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(707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf

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(519): View more from Ontario

how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

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(519): how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail. http://tfl.nu/ymgr

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?

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(250): Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila? http://tfl.nu/i07w

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.

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(780): Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT. http://tfl.nu/4w87

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(785): View more from Kansas

She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.

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(785): She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed. http://tfl.nu/l8l2

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(757): View more from Virginia

You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.

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(757): You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else. http://tfl.nu/0zf9

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory

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(401): After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory http://tfl.nu/d8ep

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(561): View more from Florida

Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.

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(561): Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring. http://tfl.nu/lpoq

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