yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So I just went to clothing optional bar