im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
