you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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