Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dicks are not precious.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
