My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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