Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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