You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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