I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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