I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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