It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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