1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
