Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
