this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
