She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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