i don't like sucking hair
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize