she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
