You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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