Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
