Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
