How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
