i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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