Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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