The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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