Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
