I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
