Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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