return my video game
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
