Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
