she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
