I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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