it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
