I wish my penis had an off switch
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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