Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
