so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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