watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
